It’s a strange kind of loneliness to accept that I qualify for Al-Anon. After attending meetings for a little over a month, I’m beginning to realize that, whether I like it or not, alcohol will always be part of my life story. Not necessarily the drinking part, but the lessons, the healing, and the growth that come with it.
At first, I thought this journey was more about my husband than me. But the deeper I go, the more I see how much of it is about taking care of myself, too. That truth is heavy and sometimes isolating. It means I have to face the reality that recovery is not just his, it’s mine as well.
While I’ve been starting my own journey in Al-Anon, I also received news that shook me to my core.
A dear friend of mine, close to my age, lost her life to cirrhosis. She was a wonderful friend, a loving sister, and the best mom to her little children. To know that alcohol took her life so young, it left her children without their mom, it is so heartbreaking. When something like this happens, it can be a sobering reminder of how powerful and destructive alcohol can be. Alcohol does not discriminate. It can touch anyone’s life, no matter what your age or race is. No matter how kind, loving, or strong you are. Alcohol can change anyone’s life over time.
That loss gave me even more clarity about why working on your recovery journey is so important. My husband has chosen his own path of recovery, showing commitment and determination by attending daily AA meetings. For that, I am forever grateful and proud of him for choosing to be responsible and honest with himself. In return, I make the time to attend Al-Anon meetings as well.
This process is not easy. It’s not something that feels natural right away.
But if you’re reading this and wondering whether it’s worth trying, whether you’re the one struggling with alcohol or you are someone who loves an alcoholic, I want to tell you that it is worth it. Start your recovery or support your loved one by taking care of yourself first. Attend that first meeting. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, it will be uncomfortable. But in time, you will see the value in showing up for yourself and for those you love.
This is a lifelong journey. It’s not about perfection, but about progress. And as much as I want to support my husband, I know the best way to do that is by focusing on my own healing. And letting him walk his own path of recovery.
If you’re looking for support for yourself or a loved one, here are some resources to get started:
- Al-Anon Albuquerque Area – aisnm.org
- Al-Anon Meeting Directory (Albuquerque listings) – findrecovery.com
- AA New Mexico Central Office – nm-aa.org
- AA Meeting Finder (Albuquerque listings) – sober.com
